I have often heard the adoption process being referred to as being "paper pregnant." In fact, early in the process I had thought that as well. I thought that once we saw our child's precious face I would equate the process to seeing an ultrasound picture while being pregnant. Having been blessed beyond measure with four full-term pregnancies, I must say that this now doesn't feel like a pregnancy. Our "due date" is unknown, I have no growing baby belly and no ultrasound of a growing baby. I am not carrying my baby with me, and I only have a few precious photos of her. My baby is on the other side of the globe, and every day we wait is a day without her.
Our preparation is not filled with the typical warm and fuzzy feelings of pregnancy. Our preparation is filling out forms, obtaining documents, getting said documents certified and authenticated, collecting more information, and filling out more forms. At times, these are just tasks which can seem emotionless and disconnected from our child.
While the paper chase is exhausting, it is times like these, the times when we're waiting for the next step that I find myself longing for some task, some assignment that makes it feel like I'm doing something to bring Nora home. Times like these, even when the waiting and the dependence on God's timing is super hard, we realize that all we can do is continue to pray on His perfect timing in bringing her home.
In perspective, it is also these days that my heart is pulled to Nora's birth mom. I know that I've blogged on this before, but please keep her in your prayers as well ... I cannot even begin to imagine how she could have given Nora up. Likewise, it is nearly unimaginable how God would bless us and choose us to be Nora's parents. So blessed ...
"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
Psalm 27:14
3 comments:
I hear ya! Our wait has just begun and already I find myself so conflicted in the waiting. I battle with feelings of guilt is I didn't think of him enough throughout the day or feelings of helplessness with not being able to do more to get him home! Praying for you and with you!!!
Love you,
Kim
It is a weird kind of waiting - I agree! Sort of a strange anxious time...but I know God will help you through this time! Love the ultrasound picture!!!
Praying you get your little Nora home soon!! Waiting is really not easy or fun....I think all of us feel that way....we do know God has His reasons for our time of waiting...and sometimes it involves what He's doing in other people's lives. Can't wait to meet Nora! She has no idea all that is coming her way soon.....her own Mom, Dad, brothers and sister---WOW!! God is SO good!! :) Paulette
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