Hope and Peace

With less than seven weeks to go before baby enters this world, we have gotten to a place of renewed hope and peace.  It has not been easy, and we know that there are still uncertainties.  Although all signs indicate that this will be a full-term, healthy baby, we cannot be certain of the outcome.  Only God, our Father, knows the outcome.  Does He know what we want?  Does He hear us?  Does He know that we yearn for a baby to hold in our arms, a baby full of life, a baby to bring home from the hospital?  Yes, He knows.  Yes, He hears us.  Does that mean that is what He will give us?  No, that part is still uncertain.  But, we have faith and we have hope and we have peace in knowing that His decision, His direction, and His plan are what we are here for.

Getting to this point has been challenging, we have often been reminded of our pregnancy with Owen.  We never got to the point of putting up the crib.  We never got to the point of picking out an outfit to bring him home from the hospital in, instead, we were picking out an outfit to bury him in.  We never went to Target to stock up on diapers and other essentials.  There are so many things with Owen that we never got to.  And, our hearts still yearn to have Owen here.  But, that was not to be.

Only now, in the past few weeks have we found ourselves moving forward, really planning for this baby ... purchasing a new stroller and car seat, painting Samuel and the baby's room, picking up some supplies, and you know what?  It's scary, but it feels great.  It feels exciting.  We have a renewed sense of hope and peace.

Throughout this pregnancy we have heard others remark about this being our third, about what a sense of relief we must feel to be expecting again.  This is not our third.  We have three little boys.  And, this baby will never replace Owen or the love we have for him.  Our love for all of our children is deep and profound, but very separate.  Just as our love for "China Girl" is distinct and separate (yes, the boys are still referring lovingly to their one day sister as "China Girl").  A little girl that may only be a thought right now, our love for her was real when we made the decision to fill out the adoption application. 

Yes, we are moving forward.  Yes, it is still hard to understand the unfolding of events that got us to this place.  But, above all, we know that our God is sovereign and that through Him we have hope.

Until the Whole World Hears

What do you suppose Jack is doing here? How about here?

Does this help?

Give up? Jack is absorbing a night of worship. He's rockin'. He's belting out lyrics. He's taking it all in at the Matt Redman and Casting Crowns concert last night - part of his birthday present. It was an amazing night of worship, of praise and of music. It was also a night of reflection on our inadequacies, on our sinful tendencies ... but, it was also a reminder of the eternal hope we have in our Savior.

Having seen Casting Crowns perform last year, I found myself not only drawn into their message, but I was also enjoying Jack's reaction. It was also moving as we remembered Owen. As I've mentioned before "Praise You in This Storm" resonates in our hearts and to hear Matt Redman start it out and then Casting Crowns take it over was amazing … emotional and amazing. "Blessed be your name" is another song of worship that we sang at Owen's Celebration of Life service - He gives and takes away. To hear Matt Redman sing this live was also moving.

One of Jack's favorite moments was Casting Crowns getting everyone on their feet for "What if His People Prayed."

Here's to you Jack, our little Casting Crowns groupie!

Please remember to pause the music at the bottom.

We will not stop singing His praises … we will not stop praising Him … we will not stop worshiping Him … we will not stop ... until the whole world hears!

We Blinked ...

And, this is what we found ~ a baby boy who has quickly, too quickly grown into a big boy, on his way to being quite the young man. Our little pumpkin turns eight today. Jack has grown into quite the little guy ~ independent (too much at times), sensitive, creative, tender, persistent, insistent, loving, enthusiastic and so much more.

Eight ...

... Halfway to being able to drive (oh boy)

... No more booster seat required

... Closer to double digits

... So much significance

And, so much for a parent to absorb, to embrace, to treasure as we blink our eyes and find that our baby boy is not such a baby anymore.

Happy Birthday, Little Man!

We love you!

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Remembering Owen ... Remembering Others

Today is the National Day of Miscarriage and Infant Loss. Having had a miscarriage nearly 9 years ago and after losing Owen last year, this is a day where we stop and reflect and remember ... we remember Owen, as we do each and every day and today we also remember and pray for all of the others who have lost babies. We remember and pray for the family of Elizabeth, for the family of Caleb, for the family of Audrey, for the family of Abby, for the family of Sarah, we pray for those we do not know, we pray for families who have lost babies in early pregnancy, we pray for families that are hurting ... today we pray and we remember and we continue to ask for strength from our Father and we continue to cling to the hope that having a relationship with Him brings.

"For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139: 13-14

There is no foot too small ...

Race Day

Another Fall Tradition - the big mountain bike race!! So proud of my guys and how my little guys have a heart for biking and racing, just like their Daddy!

Fall Traditions

I love Fall, absolutely love it, and I love all of the traditions and the things that come with this season - the apple orchard, the pumpkin farm, Autumn hues, birthday parties galore, the crisp air, the smell of falling leaves, hot apple cider ... everything, I love it all.

One of our annual Fall traditions that we all love is a work weekend at Lake Lundgren Bible Camp in Pembine. We stay for the weekend and spend Saturday getting the camp ready for winter. This typically entails cleaning, painting, building, moving items, etc. Jason's whole family and their families typically go up for the weekend to help at camp and to enjoy God's creation (it is absolutely beautiful up there this time of year!). Often the Lilyquist family outnumbers all of the others there!

Well, this year we had to somewhat break tradition. With training Maizey and considering she's not quite 12 weeks old, we didn't feel comfortable boarding her yet (and, I'm not so comfortable painting, dipping my hands in heavy duty cleaners, etc. while carrying this little one). So, I stayed back for the weekend. And, little Samuel decided he would stay back with me. So, I spent the weekend making memories with these two characters!!!
And, Jason and Jack? They were busy workers this weekend, that's for sure. Jason worked on building a porch on one of the cabins, and Jack waxed the boats, picked up sticks, hauled firewood, and delivered snacks. The camp truly is a beautiful place where God's creation abounds. This weekend is meant to not only get the camp ready for winter but to also give God the glory for what He has so graciously given us.

This is our family at camp last year.

This is the group of Lilyquist's there this year, about half its normal size.

Only 90 Shopping Days Left

Okay, that actually sounds like quite a bit. But, we've already established that I am a planner. That said, this year is certainly going to challenge me. I'm going to try to stay laid back when I think of all that I normally try to do this time of year and during the Christmas season (okay, to all of my real-life friends out there - stop laughing, I know you're wondering if it's really possible for me to be laid back ... I'm wondering too). I'm trying to convince myself that with Jack's upcoming birthday, then Thanksgiving, and then Samuel's birthday, not to mention all of the fun Autumn and Holiday festivities in between, that I do not have to go overboard this year with preparations. I'm trying to convince myself that I do not have to make an assortment of Christmas cookies, that the boys and I do not have to top last year's Christmas ornaments, that my gifts do not have to be wrapped with real ribbon (I nearly choked typing that one!).

I typically do start Christmas shopping early, but this year I am trying to be especially diligent in planning and shopping for gifts since we do not know exactly when this little one might make his / her entrance into this world. I'm trying to accept that I will need to change my routine this year to accommodate my growing belly.

I love shopping for fun, unique gifts for others. Of course I am still guilty of picking up gift cards. But to find that something special for someone makes my heart sing. I have a feeling that this year I will be doing more internet shopping, one place that I will do a little shopping is on etsy - specifically on my friend Elizabeth's site (Sew What Designs). Elizabeth is so creative. I just adore these tea towels that she makes (family and friends that I typically shop for, don't be surprised if any of these show up in your gifts this year). And, wouldn't these make the cutest teacher gifts? Have you been to etsy? Oh, it's a dangerous place to browse! I happened to stumble upon monogrammed bloomers one of the last times I was out there ~ oh, we're in so much trouble if this is a girl!!! Okay, I digress.

Here is a set of tea towels that I have that Elizabeth made.

Yes, this Autumn and Christmas I am going to have to let go of my Martha tendencies (another near choking incident just to type that). In the end though, a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby will, of course, be one of our greatest blessings. And, we must remember why it is that we celebrate Christmas in the first place ...