In a Funk

We all have these phases, these chapters in our lives, right?  It's not just me?  Times where, even though we recognize we are unbelievably blessed, we are in a funk.  Despite that this is my favorite time of year, despite that I'm loving watching the boys grow and learn with this new school year, despite watching Lydia's personality blossom every day, I'm feeling like I'm in a funk.  Likely the root of this is a laziness in my relationship with God lately. 

After having Owen, I journaled the following:  

It seems when life moves on as normal, we get into a comfortable relationship with Christ, but when life throws you a curve ball like this, from our experience, our relationship with Him grew.  We had and have hope, we could cry out to Him and know that He has a purpose in this, we don’t know what that purpose is and we may not ever understand what that purpose is, but we can cling to the hope that we have in Him.

Not saying that I want another curve ball, but I do want to re-ignite that relationship with Him.  I want to focus more on prayer and set my mind there, instead of lending it to thoughts of my to-do list and instead of borrowing tomorrow's worries today.  In self-reflection, it is almost comical how I needlessly worry about various things when it is clear we are not to worry.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself."

Matthew 6:34

How blessed are we though, and how blessed am I that despite my laziness and my sinner's heart, He still loves me unconditionally?  It is clear to me that I truly struggle with this character trait, I am, simply said, not good at loving unconditionally.  There are women in my life who model this character trait so strongly.  I pray that I might use God's and their example as a reflection of where my heart longs to be.
 
This post is a bit on the rambling side, but it is a good reminder to me of where I am, of how I am flawed, of how I need our Saviour, of how I long for my eyes to be a reflection of one filled with the Holy Spirit and how I can change my heart to love unconditionally.  Because really, how can I choose anything but this for my sweet children, my husband, my family and my friends?
 
May I grow to become an example to others and to my sweet children, like sweet Samuel here ... because no post, no matter how serious is complete without a picture ...