Saturday, August 7, 2010

Missing a Piece of My Heart

Lydia is reaching one milestone after another - sitting up, scooting, nearly crawling, babbling.  It is so amazing to see her develop and grow.  It seems to be happening so quickly though! 

With each new milestone, my heart silently reflects on not getting to see Owen achieve these sweet milestones.  We are absolutely blessed with the boys and Lydia, no doubt.  I am keenly aware of our blessings.  But, my heart still aches over a longing for our little Owen.  There are, of course, events that trigger stronger emotions - seeing some other little ones at the same age that Owen would have been and even our recent family vacation.  We have come a long way in our grieving process since losing Owen, but I think I will always associate being at a cottage with our grieving process as we also stayed at a cottage after Owen's birth.  I was looking at the picture of Jack, Samuel and Lydia that I posted.  Even that picture makes it obvious to me that there should have been another little one between Samuel and Lydia. 

I know that there will always be a piece of my heart missing, but, as I've said before, I also know that God is and remains sovereign.  And, I know that Owen and his brief life have impacted me beyond words.  I know that there are many others out there too that are missing a piece of their hearts after having experienced loss.  For all of you, I continue to pray that you are finding peace and hope in your journey ...


Donna Mayer said...

I too remember Owen. In fact, it was remembering Owen this evening and his beautiful family that brought me back to your blog.

I too see Owen in the picture of his siblings. I will see him there forever. He is there with you, forever in the hearts of those who loved him.

His brief life on earth touched many lives.

I will never forget him,


Nikki said...

Owen has left an indelible mark on the hearts of countless lives, friend, including mine. We thank God for the ways He is using Owen and your family to remind this world of His goodness, His grace, and His faithfulness. Know that we remember and thank God for each one of you. We love you ~

Amy said...

I thought the same thing when I saw the picture from your vacation. One of your "stair steps" is missing and there is a bigger leap between Samuel and Lydia. :(

So thankful for how far God has brought you in the grieving process but yet I know you will forever have part of you missing and will continue to have times of grief and longing.

Owen's memory is dear in many hearts and lives.

Love you!

Jen Cruz said...

I too have been faithfully following your blog after receiving the link from Donna Mayer. We have met once before, in the cafe in Plymouth. I share that same feeling of what should have been. If we never lost that first one...I would have a 4 year old. I miss my angel 6 pack more than anyone will ever know. Owen was so lucky to have a family like yours and you for a Mom. I just know that he's up in Heaven playing with my little ones. You have beautiful kids...I enjoy the pictures of them. :) Take care!