Sunday, April 11, 2010

Back to Work

I have been back to work for about a month now, and we continue to adjust to new schedules.  My maternity leave went so, so fast.  Where DID those 12 weeks go?  But then I look at the boys and wonder where the years have gone. It seems like just yesterday I was returning to work after leave with Jack ... with Samuel ... with Owen ... all very different returns.

Jason was still working when Jack and Samuel were born so our routine was different then. My dad, Jason's mom and Rita watched Jack for nearly the first year. Then, Jack started going to Tina's house. We were so, so blessed to have such wonderful individuals to care for and love our little ones!!! Samuel started at Tina's house right away after my leave. Of course, I knew the boys were well loved, but it is still with a heavy heart that I left them to return to work.  With Owen, my leave was, of course, very different in so many respects. Going back to work after having Owen, while hard, was part of the healing process.

Jason has now been at home with the kids for nearly three years.  I am so grateful for that.  (Tip - if you are a real-life friend - please don't ask if Jason is still at home "babysitting" the children ... um, no, he is not at home "babysitting" the children ... and, yes, someone really did ask that).  It was still hard leaving Lydia to return to work, even though I knew she was with her daddy. 

I struggle with balancing a career outside of the home, being a wife to Jason and a mommy to the kids, being a friend and doing the domestic things at home that I love.  I struggle with accepting that I cannot get everything done I'd like to ... I have to give up some of my controlling tendencies ... and, gulp, I have to find peace in that ... kind of hard considering my Martha tendencies!.  And, it tears at my heartstrings that there are some things I am missing as the kids grow.  Of course, we question if this is God's plan for us. For now though, despite the things we struggle with, this feels right and we are thankful that we can have a parent at home (and, Jason is an amazing husband and father).

Plus, an income does seem to be a necessity these days.  And, it helps fund some of the new "addictions" that I've developed since having a girl such as purchasing ...

Sweet Flower Headbands ...

Adorable, little shoes ...

And, all things monogrammed - like these little bloomers.

By the way, don't you just love baby feet?


Anonymous said...

You are so very lucky and blessed to have the kids be taken care of by thier daddy! I am sure they will appreciate that some day. I know you feel guilty going back to work, but you are right you need an income to survive! You both play such very important roles in the kids lives, but none more important than the other. They are so lucky to be loved so much.

manymasons said...

I'll pray that you continue to be content in the place God has you right now. He will direct you and Jason in the right way as you continue to trust Him.

I can only imagine how hard it would be to not be with your little ones every day but Jason is an amazing stay-at-home Dad! (I can't believe someone called him a babysitter!)

Your new addiction sure is a fun one! Love those bloomers! Wish they had those when I had Katie!

Enjoy the rest of your week!