Fullness of Grace

Saturday, August 22, 2009

It's All in a Name ...

Analysis paralysis? Been there? That's where we seem to be at with names. Oh, we have a fairly solid list of girls names ready. Who wouldn't after having not been able to use one ... ever? But, boys names? That's a different story. We thought we were all set with a perfect boy name for our family, if in fact this is another boy (sorry Rita, I know you're insistent that this is a girl and we need to just stop worrying about this ... but worry, yep, that's me - remember the Martha post? I'm still a work in progress). Anyhow, back to names, we have been having second thoughts on our boy name.

The boy name we thought we were set on - Matthew Jon. We still love this name, but when you put all of our boys’ names in the line-up – Jack, Samuel, Owen, Matthew – Matthew gets tacked onto Owen and considering that is Owen’s middle name, we’re rethinking our decision. I know, too much analysis!!! It is important to us that our children have names that are strong, and we have a tradition of using middle names which are after strong figures in our lives - family or friends. Jack's middle name is Franklin, which was my grandfather's name. Samuel's middle name is Charles which is Jason's grandpa's name (and also a family name on my side). Owen's middle name is Matthew which is my uncle's name. So, we are 100% sure that if this is another little boy, his middle name will be Jon after Jason's brother and after a friend who we would also consider a brother to Jason, both wonderful men that we are encouraged by and that we love dearly.

So, back to first names. Our other name out there – William Jon (and we’d call him Will), so – Jack, Sam(uel), Owen, Will(iam). Two things with this name, the first, which we are not as concerned about is that our cousin's husband is Jon William (now Jon, don't be getting all proud here!). The second concern is that Jason's sister is also expecting and is due only a couple of weeks after us. She found out that she is having a precious little boy. And, we found out, one of her boys names on the docket is Will. Hence our challenge with a boys name.

I had an appointment this week and my doctor told me that the ultrasound technician took a picture of the baby’s bottom “just in case” we change our minds and want to know the gender of this little one. Oh, so tempting. But, there really are too few surprises in life and this is one that we will continue to anticipate and wait on and agonize over a name on should this, in fact, be another little boy. I bet God is just shaking his head saying "Heather, Heather! You are worried and only one thing is needed ..." So, like anything else, both significant and seemingly insignificant we will turn this over to God and trust that all will work out as He has so purposefully planned. And, we'll hold tight to knowing that we will in fact one day get to use one of our girls names, if not this December, then for our daughter from China (as the boys still affectionately refer to as China Girl).

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The Breast Cancer 3-Day

60 miles ... 3 days ... torrential downpours and storms resulting in tent evacuations ... hazardous heat levels ... sore muscles ... two blisters ... tears of exhaustion ... tears of gratitude ... Breast Cancer awareness raised ... research dollars raised ... lives changed ... LIVES SAVED ... these are some of the incredible memories I have from the two years that I did the Breast Cancer 3-Day walk in Chicago (2006 & 2007). Walking the Breast Cancer 3-Day was physically and emotionally exhausting, but so, so moving ... so incredible. I walked with Team Pedicure founded by my dear friend Elizabeth. This past weekend was Elizabeth's 6th consecutive year walking in the Chicago Breast Cancer 3-Day to raise awareness and raise funds for Breast Cancer research. Elizabeth and I were trying to figure out how much she alone has raised for Breast Cancer research and awareness over these past six years ~ we couldn't get the exact number, but we do know it is well over $20,000. Isn't this girl amazing?

This past weekend again brought rain and a nearly unbearable heat index, but Elizabeth did it! You go girl! I'm proud of you, and I cannot wait to rejoin Team Pedicure!!!!!!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Whose Plan?

Perhaps too often I find myself wondering if I'm following my plan or God's plan. I could write about this at more length and throw out example after example, but that is not my intent here. When it does become obvious what God's plan is, we may find ourselves questioning why and why not our plan? I question this. It's human tendency, and that's okay. We find ourselves still asking this question a year and a half after Owen's diagnosis, a little over a year after losing my friend Becca who was tragically killed by a drunk driver, and now only a couple of days after another young life was lost. We have questioned why life has been taken, in each of these circumstances, so grossly out of order.

Please join us in praying for the friends and family of Katie Immel (please read Katie's story here), Katie, a young, courageous woman who passed away Friday evening. Katie had been running the race of her life these past eight months. In December she was diagnosed with acute leukemia. And, now, only weeks after turning 25, she won the ultimate race, victory into the arms of our loving Savior. Katie leaves behind so many who loved her and who were praying for a different outcome, praying for a different plan. But, it was not to be. God's plan is not always our plan.

This then leads to the question of the purpose in this. Just like we may not ever fully understand God's purpose in losing Owen, Katie's family and friends may question God's purpose in losing Katie, a young woman with so much life in her. God's plan, although sometimes so very painful, does have a purpose which we are growing to learn may be greater than we can ever imagine.

Please join us in uplifting Katie's family and friends in prayer ...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Family Tradition

Family: A group of persons of common ancestry

Tradition: The handing down of information, beliefs, and customs by word of mouth or by example from one generation to another without written instruction

Every family has its traditions, some quirky, some sentimental, some silly and some just plain 'ole fun ... and a bit competitive. Common summer traditions may include annual family get-togethers such as family cookouts, family reunions, or family vacations. A family tradition on the Lilyquist side is the Annual Family Olympics which has been hosted now for decades. This is one tradition in our family that will never need written instruction, and it is sure to continue for decades to come.

The Family Olympics typically take place on a Saturday afternoon in summer and consist of food, fellowship, and friendly competition. The competitors are the young and old alike (with the most fierce competition at the adult ranks). So, what kind of games are common at the Family Olympics? Well, the competitors enjoy a variety of "sports." The men may enjoy golf (with marshmallows), the children may participate in donut eating (off of strings hanging from a clothesline), and the tweens and teens might do a science project (explosions of Mentos in Diet Coke). This is just a sampling of what this year's Annual Olympics brought. There have been other years of messier and sillier games enjoyed by all.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Perfect Architecture

I have a tendency to strive for perfection, to try to do it all, to go above and beyond, to be an overachiever, it's all part of my Martha tendencies (see Being Martha below). I usually don't get excited over being "normal" ... but today, today when we heard "all is normal" I was grateful, I shed tears of relief, tears of gratitude.

He is THE Architect and we are so blessed by His perfect architecture.

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Being Martha

I am a total Martha. There is no denying it. My family used to call me Martha Stewart due to my reputation for baked goods, homemade cards, and a few other things. But I am not referring to Martha Stewart, I am referring to Martha of Bethany. If you have not read this story, I encourage you to do so. Luke 10:38-42 resonates in my heart. I could easily replace "Martha, Martha" with "Heather, Heather."

This past week I had a doctor appointment. I am longing to feel this baby move regularly, I am longing for that physical reminder that "everything is okay" right now. At my appointment it took a little bit to find this little one's heartbeat. I worry about losing this little one. I am selfishly praying and yearning for a healthy, full-term pregnancy and baby ~ a little one that we get to keep here with us.

I also worry that I have a little Martha following in my footsteps. Jack asked again, at my appointment, if this baby is going to live. He then asked when we will know for sure that the baby does not have anencephaly. And yes, he specifically uses that term in every day conversation ~ it is so much for a seven year old, but a precious friend recently reminded me that Jack is going to keep growing with a sensitive, tender heart.

I am prone to worry. As we enter this new week and as we count down the couple of days until our scheduled "routine / normal" ultrasound which was neither routine nor normal back in January 2008, I worry. But, I am also trusting. I am trusting in our God Who saves, our God Who gives us strength, our God Who understands how much we can handle, our God Who carried the burden for our sin, our God Who understands our worry and understands our questions and understands our skepticism, but loves us without hesitation despite it all.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

P.S. If you are also a Martha, I would recommend 'Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World' by Joanna Weaver. I am finding myself deep in self reflection as I absorb the truths found in this book.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

All Because of Owen ...

All because of our precious little boy, Jason, Jack, Samuel and I spent last week in Tennessee. We started out the week by driving the approximate 10 hours to Nashville where we visited Wendy's Place, a house for expecting and new moms (part of the Hope Clinic). There, we were able to see and to touch "Owen's tile" as well as tour the house, meet a mom and her precious baby living there, and deliver our donation. These moms, against odds, have chosen life for these babies, these remarkable God created gifts. This is a house where you can feel the warmth and love of our living God. It was a moving and profound experience to be there, to feel that sense of peace and God's grace in such an amazing place.

From there, we ventured East to Pigeon Forge where we spent the week at the Inn at Christmas Place. A little Christmas in July anyone? We were a little apprehensive about our choice in accommodations, fearing that the Inn may be a little "cheesy" but when we pulled in, we knew we were in for a real treat. Our experiences at the Inn could certainly pull us back to Tennessee sometime in the future. In addition to enjoying the Inn, we spent the week making other memories ~ swimming, visiting an aquarium, hiking up the side of a mountain to see a waterfall (okay, the boys were not thrilled about this), riding the rides at Dollywood, go-carting, mini-golfing on the side of a mountain, playing (my being defeated at) Skip-Bo, watching Christmas movies every night before bed, laughing, enjoying silliness ... it was a wonderful week! And, the boys fared well in the car on the way down there and did even better on the way back. I think it's normal for a four year old to wonder if we are in Wisconsin yet even though we just left the hotel in Tennessee, right?

We praise our God for His endless gifts, the time we were able to spend together and the gifts we were able to bring to Tennessee. Of course, our hearts yearn to have our little boy here, and we don't understand, but we are blessed ...

Friday, July 10, 2009

Tennessee or Bust!

T-minus 7 hours before we hit the road on our way to The Hope Clinic in Nashville with our tote of goodies for the mommies and their precious babies in memory of Owen and in celebration of his 1st birthday (see this post for more information).

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Sundays with Owen

On a warm, sunny day in May 2008, Jason, the boys and I walked through the cemetery on a quest to find the "perfect" resting spot for our little Owen. No mother should ever have to be on this quest as her child wiggles inside of her, so full of life. But, this was the reality of our situation.

We wanted to find a spot that we would all be comfortable visiting, that we would find peace in. Oh, we know that Owen is not really there. We are confident that he is safe in the arms of our Heavenly Father, but it still brings us comfort and peace to spend time, as a family, hanging out at the cemetery.

Visiting Owen Through the Seasons